


Smoking Buddies

by ChompMom



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Vampire, Happy Halloween, Multi, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), Vampire Sans, typical violence associated with vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:22:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChompMom/pseuds/ChompMom
Summary: "Heh. Either Papyrus has it out for ya or he's got more faith in my self-control than I do."
Relationships: Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 75





	1. Just a Quick Bite

**Author's Note:**

> A quick little Halloween project for you guys! There are two endings: a good one and a bad one. The endings will be posted in a separate chapter (hopefully sooner rather than later).

Crisp autumn wind rustled through your clothes, causing you to shiver a bit and frown down at your phone. You were a little worried about your pal, Sans. Normally this time in the evening the two of you would be chilling on the roof of your shared apartment complex, smoking like twin chimneys. Not wanting to seem clingy, you decided against texting him to ask where he was. He'd turn up at some point, no doubt. 

The only problem was… he never did show up. Day after day went by and you still hadn't seen (nonexistent) hide nor hair of him. Feeling a little silly, you finally caved and texted him to make sure he wasn't dead or whatever. He never replied. You sat on the roof, tapping your foot nervously and staring at your phone screen. After another two cigarettes were nothing but ash, you decided to get over yourself and check in on him more proactively. Just because monsters were tsundere didn’t mean you had to be!

Knocking briskly on the door to his apartment you demanded, "Sans! Either open this damn door or answer your phone!"

When your efforts proved fruitless, you whipped your phone out and called your skeletal pal. Maybe he had left his phone at home? Sure enough, you could hear his ringtone playing on the other side of the door but he still didn't answer. It went to voicemail.

Okay so, three options: Sans forgot his phone and went to stay with his brother for a couple days, he was ignoring you, or he was a pile of dust in his apartment. Now sufficiently worried, you quickly called up Papyrus. You knew he hated to be bothered but you figured your peace of mind and Sans’ safety were more important than him possibly being annoyed with you. 

Punctual as always, Papyrus picked up on the first ring, "What do you want, human?" Ah, no greeting. Not that you expected one out of the prickly skeleton. 

"Hey so I haven't seen Sans for a couple days and he's not answering his phone. Do you know what's up with him?"

Papyrus sighed heavily. "Yes, I know 'what's up with him.' The fool has been neglecting to eat and is now rather under the weather, if you will."

"He's sick?!" You exclaim, worry for your pal obvious. The food neglect doesn't surprise you; you'd actually never seen Sans eat anything besides liquids. 

"Sure."

Ignoring the somewhat strange response, you launch into an avalanche of questions. "What do you do for a sick skeleton? Can he eat human food? Are you taking care of him? Does he need a hospital? What-"

"HUMAN!"

Your mouth snaps closed with an audible click. "Sorry Papyrus, I'm just… concerned. Surely there's something I can do to help?"

Papyrus paused for a moment before answering you. "Actually, yes, there is. It would be helpful if you could drop in on him to make sure he eats. I would do so but monsters of our kind tend to be territorial when... sick. He would respond better to your presence than mine."

"I would but he won't answer his door!"

"Don't worry about that, I'll be by soon to drop off a copy of his key."

"Are you sure I'm the best choice for this? I don't know the first thing about monster illnesses."

"Yes. In fact, I believe you are uniquely qualified to help Sans with his… problem."

🦇🦇🦇

True to his word, Papyrus dropped off a keychain not a half an hour later after your call. You fiddled with the cute little skull-motif lanyard the key was attached to as you hesitated in front of the door. You weren't sure why, but something in your gut was sending out warning signals. It was true that you and Sans were buddies, but neither of you had ever been in each other's apartment. It seemed almost wrong to barge in without his permission. Well, Papyrus did say it was okay...Dismissing your paranoia, you hefted the bag of homemade chicken noodle soup and knocked on the door, announcing, "I'm coming in, Sans!"

The door creaked open and you cautiously stuck your head in, calling out for Sans again. When no response met your ears you eased past the door and shut it, making sure to lock it back up behind you.

Luckily, the tiny apartment mirrored your place's layout so you knew just how to get to the living room/kitchen area without taking a wrong turn into his bedroom. You'd already intruded enough, you didn't want to go accidently snooping through his room. 

Once you'd reached the kitchen, you pulled the container of leftover soup you'd made the other day out and started looking around for a pot to heat it in. You glanced back at the couch, half expecting to see Sans sprawled out on it haphazardly, only to see it was empty. That was okay, you thought as you turned back to your soup. When you were done heating it you could take a bowl over to Sans' room, where he was undoubtedly resting. 

Humming lightly while stirring the soup, you felt a sudden, overwhelming urge to check behind you again. You glanced over your shoulder towards the couch, only to yelp in surprise at the sight of Sans slumped over, watching you intently through lidded sockets. 

"Jesus Christ! When the hell did you get here?"

Sans seemed to barely even register your words, still staring at you with slightly hazy eye lights. 

"Yo, earth to Sans? Dude?"

No response. He must be really out of it. 

"Okay then. Well, Papyrus sent me here to get you to eat something, so I'm gonna finish heating this soup and then I'll join you on the couch, okay?"

Not really expecting a response at this point, you turned back to the stove and gave the soup a good stir. It was starting to let off a little steam, so you shut the burner off. Before you could move to grab a bowl however, you were suddenly pinned between the counter and a hard, heavy body, which was pressing into your back. 

"Sans?"

You felt the press of sharp teeth nuzzling into your neck, and Sans let a cool breath puff against your cheek. Shivers ran down your spine at the chilling sensation. Not exactly sure what he was doing, you murmured hesitantly, "Sans, are you-?" 

You stopped abruptly as he set his chin on your shoulder. So close to your ear, you could easily make out his deep inhales… it almost seemed like he was sniffing you. No, that couldn’t be right. Surely it was just labored breathing due to his illness...

"Heh. Either Papyrus has it out for ya or he's got more faith in my self-control than I do."

"Wha-?"

Before you could finish your query, hard, bony claws gripped you around your waist. When you moved your hands to try and pry them off, Sans simply caught both of them in his own palm and easily held them still. The claw still circling your waist squeezed tighter, and the one that had captured your hands pressed them down against your chest. No matter how hard you struggled, you couldn't seem to wriggle free. 

“Sans, what the fuck are you doing?! Let me go!”

Instead of making any moves to comply with your wishes, Sans merely chuckled deeply and continued to breathe into your neck. Okay, on second thought, he was _definitely_ sniffing you. What the fuck?

Much to your horror, you could hear as his jaw clicked open and a smooth, cool, jelly-like sensation caressed you from your cheek to your collarbone. First he sniffs you and now he’s licking you?! As you continued to squirm, you noticed the places his tongue had touched were now tingling strangely, reminiscent of lidocaine’s numbing effects. 

Finally, he stops giving you a weird tongue bath, and you renew your efforts of getting out of his grip. You suck in a deep breath to yell at him again when a sharp pain suddenly pierces your shoulder. Barely able to comprehend what was happening through the sensation of your flesh being pierced, you distantly realized he’d bit you. Heat like you’ve never felt before pulses in your skin at the point of contact between your shoulder and his fangs. You’d seen those fangs, no doubt they slid into your skin like a hot knife through butter. 

Still struggling to comprehend _why_ the skeleton had bitten you, you were utterly unprepared for the undeniable sensation of Sans sucking into the wound he’d created. Blood poured out of your veins, straight into his jaws, and you heard obscene gulping and quiet moans coming from his throat. 

“S-stop…!” You cried weakly, already experiencing the effects of blood loss, making you feel lightheaded and faint. 

Unfortunately for you, Sans did _not_ stop, and he continued draining you of your lifeblood until your vision tunneled and eventually went completely black...


	2. Dead End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I made a sad.

"Dammit Papyrus, I actually liked that human!"

"Oh, did they not survive your feeding?"

"No! I was fucking feral and you knew it!"

"Well, maybe you should hunt regularly like an upstanding vampire and then you wouldn't have sucked the first human that came within biting distance dry."

"Ugh! Now I've gotta get rid of the body and everything. And who's gonna hang out with me while I'm smoking?"

"That sounds like a ‘you’ problem."

"Fuck you Papyrus."

With that, Sans hung up on his brother and slammed his phone face down on the nightstand. The unmistakable sound of the screen cracking caused Sans to growl angrily. It would hardly be the first time he’d had to replace his phone’s screen due to a bout of rage. 

Sans looked down sadly at the figure laying on his bed...his human pal, skin so full of color in life, was now dulled gray with the lack of blood. 

“Fuck. I’m so sorry, buddy…I wanted you in my bed, but not like this, never like this…”

Once he’d snapped out of his bloodlust, he immediately realized what he’d done and attempted to revive them despite the fact that there was no longer any blood trickling out of their wound. He’d taken every last drop. There was no coming back from that.

He stroked their hair softly and then traced the apple of their cheek with the back of his claw. It was just as soft as he’d always imagined it, but it lacked the signature warmth of his lively pal. 

Alone in his room with no prying eyes, he allowed a couple tears to slip down his bony face. This is why he never made friends with humans...


	3. Good End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe I hope you guys like cheese, 'cause I brought it.

There was no feeling more all-consuming than that of feeding on a human during a feral episode. 

Vampires, monsters that required the blood of humans to survive, were a rare breed. So rare, in fact, that there were only two left among the monster population. Not only were they the last of the blood-drinkers, they were also the last skeletons: Sans and Papyrus. When their mentor and father-figure disappeared from their lives in their youth, the two brothers had to figure out how to fend for themselves in a world bent on hating them. Other monsters were stuck in their tradition of “kill or be killed” while humans wanted nothing to do with monsterkind. The brothers learned quickly that letting themselves go without human blood would only lead to disaster. When past the point of starving, they would go into what Sans dubbed a “feral” state, and would attack indiscriminately in order to feed and fend off their insatiable appetite. They had to move around a lot in their inexperience, having to avoid detection whenever they slipped up and fed off somebody they shouldn’t have. 

Now, as adults, the brothers found themselves unable to handle living together anymore, something about their instincts insisted they keep their own hunting ground safe from other vampires. The brothers chose to live near enough to visit each other, but far enough away that they would both have plenty of prey to feed from.

Things had been going well for a while, neither brother had had any issues with accidentally killing their victims. It was a simple matter of catching a human alone, feeding from them, and then simply healing them of their bite wound before melting back into the night. Most humans who remembered their attacks chalked it up to weird nightmares or hallucinations.

Sans had been fine with this way of life for a long time...until he met _them_. His smoking buddy. Originally when he found a human smoking a cigarette on the roof of his apartment building, he figured he’d found a convenient little snack. However, when they’d turned to greet him, he found himself enraptured by their kind but guarded expression and the way their eyes glittered, reflecting the city lights. Instead of getting a taste of them, he decided to sit and smoke with them for a while. It didn’t take long to realize he _enjoyed_ their company. Their rooftop meetings became a nearly daily routine, and Sans often found himself looking forward to them. He didn’t really allow himself to make friends anymore, more often than not he’d have to leave them behind. And humans...well, it wasn’t really safe to make friends with a snack, now was it?

Despite the warnings his logical side bombarded him with, he continued to hang out with his new human pal, and he became irrevocably attached to them. They just...smelled so good sometimes…

Now when he went out to feed, he saw _their_ face on each of the humans he fed from. It hurt him deep inside his soul every time. He wanted to be with them, the way any other human or monster could, but he knew he was a danger to them. He had to be better than his nature. He tried to stop, to go on a “diet”, as Papyrus put it, to be good enough to deserve them. It never worked. 

His most recent, and longest, attempt to stay “dry” was not going well for him. He was languishing in his bedroom, ignoring their texts and calls and even the knocks on his door. He was just so _damn hungry_ and they smelled _so damn good_. 

He breathed a sigh of relief when they finally stopped hammering on his door. Maybe he could get some sleep and feel better when he woke…

He snapped awake suddenly. Somebody was in his territory. He scented the air more deeply and purred when he recognised the tantalizing scent of a human. A meal came to him. How fortunate. 

Quiet as a shadow, he crept into the living room, only to be met with the sight of his favorite human bustling around his little kitchen. Trying to calm the raging instincts that insisted he feed from them, now now _now_ , he slipped past them and sprawled out on the couch. His gaze watched them predatorily, while he kept a tenuous grip on his hunger. Fuck. They really shouldn’t be here. 

No doubt feeling eyes on their back, they checked over their shoulder, yelping when they spotted Sans. Fear now coloring their scent, Sans’ grip on his control was slipping. 

Talking...they were talking to him? He couldn’t seem to hear through the fog filling his skull. Only thoughts of biting into that soft skin like a ripe peach and sucking the juices out were running through his mind. 

“Well, Papyrus sent me here to get you to eat something…” Papyrus? Oh. Papyrus had sent this snack to him. It was okay, right? They said they were here to feed him, right?

Within moments he found their squishy warm body pressed up against his. He relished in the heat that leached from their form into his cold, hard bones. That’s what he was, after all. A leach. He took and he took and never gave anything back. Better to stick to what he knew best…

Pleased to have them so close at last, he bent down to nuzzle his teeth against a pulse point on their neck. Their heart was beating so fast, blood rushing so teasingly close...it was intoxicating. He pressed his nasal cavity closer to them, allowing himself a better angle to take in their scent. It was glorious...he felt himself getting lost in it. 

A small part of him was screaming, horrified at what he was doing to his _friend_ but he couldn’t stop himself from grinning and growling into their ear, “Heh. Either Papyrus has it out for ya or he's got more faith in my self-control than I do."

Their heart gave a particularly strong thump at that, and the last bit of his control snapped. He quickly trapped them against his chest, easily keeping their arms bound in one hand. Their struggle was cute but fruitless, they had no chance at breaking his grip. 

They were wiggling enticingly and shrieking something at him. He chuckled at their resistance and went back to scenting their neck. Ready to move on to the next step, he allowed his tongue to slither from his jaws and traced from their cheek to their collarbone, leaving his pain-numbing saliva in its wake. It wouldn’t prevent them from feeling when he did eventually bite down, but it would help. 

The excitement was mounting for him, his prize was so close! Soon, he couldn’t wait any longer and he plunged his fangs into the junction of their neck and shoulder. His fangs slid into their flesh like they were meant to be there, and he groaned at the taste of their blood. It was absolutely exquisite. Mouthful after warm, glorious mouthful of sweet blood poured onto his waiting tongue and to his throat, which he gulped down eagerly. Lost as he was in his feeding, it was only pure luck that their cry broke through to him.

“S-stop…!”

Their voice cut through his enjoyment with sharp clarity, and he gasped into their skin, quickly retracting his fangs from the wound he’d made. He went to release them from his tight grip, only to snatch them into his arms again as they wobbled in place. He whirled them around to face him. Their eyes were unfocused and their face was pale; their neck seemed barely able to keep their head upright. 

“Hey, hey, buddy, stay with me, okay? Don’t fall asleep!” His voice cracked in his panic, and he looked around for something to staunch the flow of blood from their wound. Quickly snagging a nearby dishtowel, he pressed it firmly to the punctures, and gathered up his magic to heal the torn skin. He poured as much healing magic into them as he could without passing out and then he gingerly pulled the towel away from their shoulder to check the wound. There was a little bit of a scar there, but it would no doubt disappear within a couple minutes with the residual magic. 

Eye lights darting back to their face, he was horrified to discover that their eyes had slipped closed, and their breathing was shallow. Fuck, he’d taken _way_ too much blood. 

“No no nonono _no_!”

Sweeping them off their feet and into his arms, he rushed to his room, tucking them into his bare bed with a blanket he found tossed over the back of the couch. He knew it was important to keep them warm...the healing magic would help, but he couldn’t exactly replace the blood they’d already lost. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, please, just...don’t die. Please…”

Pathetic, he was so pathetic. He knelt down at the bedside and let his skull drop onto the mattress next to their still body. His keen hearing let him know they were still breathing, but it was so _so_ weak. There was nothing more he could do but wait. 

After an unbearable couple of hours, Sans finally felt them stirring slightly. His head popped up and he frantically tried to wipe away the tears he had been secretly allowing to fall.

“Buddy…?” He murmured gently. 

At the sound of his voice, they slowly blinked awake, head turning weakly to look at him through heavy eyelids. “Sans?” Their voice still sounded so weak. One of their hands reached out and caressed his cheekbone and he jerked back, surprised. “Sans...have you been crying?”

The sweet compassion in their voice was what finally broke him. He wailed pathetically and buried his head into their soft abdomen while they let out a quiet “oof” at the contact. 

“‘M sorry, ‘m so so sorry I can’t believe I-”

🦇🦇🦇

Your eyes widened as Sans broke down next to you. You’d never seen him show so much emotion before. Yeah, you’d seen him rage about his brother, or grumpy about work, but you’d never seen him so upset. The wet sensation of tears soaking your shirt spurred you into reaching out to pet his skull soothingly. You would sit up and hug him but your entire body felt drained of energy. What the hell happened? Did you have an accident? Was that why Sans was so upset?

“Sans…” You tried to catch his attention, but your voice came out as a weak whisper. When he didn’t respond, you tried again, “Sans!”

His skull lifted from where it was pressed against your stomach and he looked at you with the saddest, most puppy-eyed expression you’d ever seen from such an intimidating monster. 

“Sans, I don’t know what happened, but I-”

“I hurt you! Stars, I could have _killed_ you! I almost did!” He sounded nearly hysterical. You needed to calm him down if you were to ever get a straight story out of him. 

“Sans, it’s okay, I-”

“IT’S NOT OKAY!” He roared, cutting you off yet again before dissolving into tears. “I, I almost lost you…”

Suddenly, your stomach gave an angry grumble. Damn, you were pretty hungry. 

Sans finally stopped crying and perked up at the sound. “I’ll get you some soup! Wait here!”

With that he disappeared. As in. Literally vanished right before your eyes. What the fuck?

Faintly you could hear the sound of the microwave being set, and it wasn’t long before you heard the beeping signaling it was finished. Wait, was he actually heating up soup in the microwave? You scowled. Couldn’t he at least use the stove? Lazy ass. 

You jumped violently when he reappeared at your side, clutching a bowl of soup in his hands. 

“Sorry, sorry,” He murmured while helping to prop you up on his bed so he could hand you the soup. When your hands proved too shaky to hold the bowl, he instead surprised you by feeding you the soup by hand. He held the spoon up to your lips, staring pleadingly at you until you sipped it. After you’d finished the bowl, he placed it to the side and pulled up his ratty, old desk chair to sit beside you. The soup had really hit the spot and you felt much better. 

“We need to talk,” Sans said seriously. 

“Well, that’s ominous,” You giggled, trying to lighten the slight scowl on his face. It didn’t work. The furrow on his brow seemed to get even deeper with worry. 

“I’m serious.”

“Hi serious! I thought your name was Sans?”

Sans huffed in a way that was clear he was trying to hide his laughter, and continued to scowl at you. “As I was saying, this is serious. It’s not safe for you to be around me, I’m going to be moving and you will _not_ go looking for me, understand?”

Now it was your turn to huff, “What type of serious talk is this? It sounds like a scene straight out of a Twilight fanfic.”

Much to your surprise, instead of a disgusted or amused huff, Sans’ cheekbones colored slightly red and his gaze darted to the side. No fucking way…

Without consciously thinking about it, your hands slipped up to the junction of your neck and shoulder where you ran your fingers over the skin there. Although there was no physical wound, your skin tingled strangely as your fingers passed over it. Memories, slightly choppy and hazy, began to come back to you.

“You...bit me?”

Sans’ head bobbed in a reluctant nod.

“You drank my blood? Like a fucking vampire?!”

“I mean…”

“Wait! Is that what Papyrus meant by me being uniquely qualified to help you!?”

“What.”

🦇🦇🦇

Papyrus was perched on his favorite armchair, a copy of Bram Stoker’s Dracula propped open in one hand. He always had a flair for the dramatic and thought reading the book would be a sufficiently ironic way for him to spend his evening. 

Just as he was turning the page, his door burst open and Sans and his little human friend stumbled through the door in a way that indicated they’d been pushing past each other to be first. 

“You’re a fucking asshole, Papyrus, I coulda-!”

“Did you really send me to your brother’s apartment to be some sort of damn snack, what the fuck is wrong with you!?”

Papyrus calmly closed his novel and set it on the chair’s arm beside him. “Ah, brother, human. I see you both made it out in one piece.”

“No thanks to you-!”

“I almost fucking killed them-!”

Papyrus flapped his hand at them in a dismissive gesture, “I had every faith that if you truly loved each other then Sans would never have drained you to death, and you would forgive him for feeding on you. It seems my faith was well put.” 

Both human and monster were now sufficiently flustered red and were refusing to look in each other’s direction. Papyrus smirked. It seems his plan was a success. Sans’ roadblock to admitting his feelings was now out of the way and the two of them could finally stop dancing around each other. 

“Fuck, Paps, couldn’t you have done this in a way that _didn’t_ almost get them killed?” Sans groaned in annoyance. 

“Well maybe if you stopped starving yourself you wouldn’t have put them in any danger at all.”

“Sans, you’ve really been starving yourself, why?” The human asked, cheeks still a little pink from embarrassment. 

“I…” Sans looked down sheepishly.

“He wanted to be ‘better’ for you,” Papyrus stated matter-of-factly. 

“Papyrus!” His older brother shouted, mortified at being called out. 

“Aww, Sans, that’s so sweet!” The human teased.

Sans growled in embarrassment but the red tint on his cheekbones betrayed his slightly pleased expression. 

Papyrus sat in amused silence, having done his part in riling up the lovebirds into admitting their feelings. Sans and his little human bickered/flirted back and forth while Papyrus returned to his book. Everything would work out. 

“Wait, Papyrus, are you fucking reading Dracula?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this silly little project of mine, I certainly liked working on it (even though giving myself deadlines gives me hives).
> 
> Happy Halloween!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and critiques are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Let me know if you see any mistakes as well.
> 
> Feel free to hmu on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/opocoon)
> 
> Or on [Tumblr](https://motherofchomp.tumblr.com/)  
> 


End file.
